Face to Face with pain...

Some friends of ours are currently in Texas Children's Hospital with their beautiful 4 year old little girl. She had surgery yesterday and she is having to stay in the hospital for 4 or 5 days. We went to visit them yesterday afternoon and I was completely caught off guard by the rush of emotions I felt. (If you have not read my previous post "Remembering Pain Makes You Stronger", then you may want to read it to get the whole miracle story.)

We stepped into the elevator, pressed the button for the 12th floor... as soon as the elevator doors opened the battle to keep my emotions at bay began. This was the same floor, I remember these yellow walls. We signed in at the nurses desk, stepped through the door and there I was face to face with the very room we had been in with Jeremiah. I literally couldn't breathe for a moment and I was desperately fighting back tears. Our friends were only 3 doors down from that very room. As in most hospitals, their room looked exactly the same. It was like stepping back in time. Everything was the same, the couch we slept on, the monitors, the walls, everything... accept that wasn't my little boy laying there anymore, it was their sweet girl. I was face to face with a pain I had not felt in 5 years... we walked the halls with them, showed them where the food court was, told them about the "goody carts" that come by through out the day. Right on cue here came a cart with sno cones, lol. I totally put aside my feelings, now was not the time.

On our way home Jason and I talked about how we both were overwhelmed by how we felt going in there... Jason said, "You know people say that time heals all wounds but I disagree. That pain was as fresh as it was five years ago." He's right! It literally took my breath away but so was the reminder of how God had been so evident there. That is a place of remembering pain but also a place of knowing a peace beyond our understanding, a reminder of God's miraculous hand in our lives. I have yet to feel again as completely submitted and fully at peace in HIS hands as I was during that battle for Jeremiah's life.

I stand by my original post "Remembering Pain does Make You Stronger". I am challenged by this reminder, a crisis should not be the only time my faith is that in tune or that I am that submitted to Him... I intend to remedy this.