Say what??? Yes, it's true I did and it was incredible!! Let's go backward an hour or two... I was sitting in the Albuquerque airport waiting on my flight back to Houston. Our flight was delayed a few times and as we all know that means the terminal gets very full. I had seen this family walking around with a sweet little girl, about 12 I am guessing, and she had Down's Syndrome. She was dressed so super cute and obviously very excited about flying. As we boarded the plane she came on board ecstatic that we were "going up in the sky"!! She kept squealing and saying "I am so excited, I am so excited!!" I just giggled, because it was adorable! Her family kept trying to quiet her down and she was doing her very best to contain her excitement. The pilot and stewardess got the plane all geared up, did the pre-flight pep talks and we finally began to taxi over to take off. It's our turn, here we go, and lift off! She is so excited and she is telling her mom, "We are going up high!!!! We are going up high!!!" Then she no longer could contain her excitement and she said the most incredible thing "Mom, we are getting closer to Jesus!!! Look, we are getting closer to Jesus!!! We are up high closer to Jesus!! Look at the clouds!!! HI Jesus!! HI Jesus!!" She erupted with giggles and just continued overflowing with pure joy! It totally left me undone... I began to cry at the beauty I was seeing. I saw the purest face of true love for Jesus that I have ever seen in my life... and it melted me. She wasn't that excited because she was going to see Jesus but because she was getting closer to Him. I sat there with tears that insisted to keep falling and began to talk to God. "Father, I am certain that you share these tears of joy right now. Your heart must be overflowing at the praise and adoration that she is giving You! What a beautiful mirror image of your love is on her face right now!"
James 4:8a (AMP) "Come close to God and He will come close to you."
Deut. 4:29 (NIV) "But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul."
"Lord, I have seen you in the face of this beautiful child. My heart has been broken for You, I long to be close to You. I know that if I seek after You, You in turn will run to me. Oh Father, let me seek You with the joy and eagerness I see in her. Let my heart yearn to be close to You, as she does."
Her family continued to quiet her excitement and I wanted to say, "Let her be. Let her get excited, let her joy become contagious." Of course I didn't, but I truly hope that others on that plane were moved by her the way I was. I pray that others on that plane "Saw Jesus on that plane"...
2014
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
RELAX... Relax... relax.
Everywhere I go I have heard this word over and over for the past 2 months! It's been quite comical, actually. Ever since I realized this is what God was telling me to do, to rest and RELAX, it seems He has taken great care to keep reminding me. (If you are wondering what I am referring to, check out my post from a month or so ago "The Key To This Season...") I honestly wish I had written down (or had the brain capacity to remember) all the times I have been reminded.
During this time of resting and recovering I have crazy enjoyed time with my husband and my boys. It has been a much needed time of carefree, pure fun and enjoyment. We have traveled SO much this summer, done SO much together, made up for lost time during my illness and we are not done yet!! A few weeks ago my husband and I went to a marriage conference together. It was amazing and we so enjoyed getting away and just concentrating on making "us" even better. We came back so refreshed... but while we were there guess what one of the points they talked about were? You guessed it "Relax and rest!" My husband and I squeezed each others hand and just chuckled. A message this past Sunday at our church, we had a guest speaker and part of his testimony was about God telling him to "Relax and rest". Again, we just looked at each other and laughed. I could tell you about a dozen more times how "Relax and rest" has shown up during this season... it's truly been unbelievable.
God is doing a great work in us, during this time. He is showing us that this past 9 months was not lost and it was not in vain. Our testimony will have a voice! Not only has He carried us through this season, but His hand and His glory will shine BRIGHT because of what He is going to do through us! He has challenged us with new areas and ways of ministry that we are so excited about!!
Romans 8:28 AMP We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. 29) For those whom He foreknew [of whom He was aware and loved beforehand], He also destined from the beginning [foreordaining them] to be molded into the image of His Son [and share inwardly His likeness], that He might become the firstborn among many brethren.
This past week I received an amazing report from my doctors... after 9 months my vision is almost better than it was before this happened, the fluid is almost gone, the hole is securely closed, my blood work is clean after the cancer scare and partial thyroid removal, I was taken off all but one medication (and it is one with NO side effects) and the doctor doesn't want to see me again for a month! I am almost "whole" again. I am "Relaxing and Resting" not only in my mind and body, but in Spirit as well. God is restoring me... as I have said before, "God's call on my life is still intact, His hand on my life is sure, His plan for me is secure, He is a faithful God and His promises to me ARE my destiny!!!"
During this time of resting and recovering I have crazy enjoyed time with my husband and my boys. It has been a much needed time of carefree, pure fun and enjoyment. We have traveled SO much this summer, done SO much together, made up for lost time during my illness and we are not done yet!! A few weeks ago my husband and I went to a marriage conference together. It was amazing and we so enjoyed getting away and just concentrating on making "us" even better. We came back so refreshed... but while we were there guess what one of the points they talked about were? You guessed it "Relax and rest!" My husband and I squeezed each others hand and just chuckled. A message this past Sunday at our church, we had a guest speaker and part of his testimony was about God telling him to "Relax and rest". Again, we just looked at each other and laughed. I could tell you about a dozen more times how "Relax and rest" has shown up during this season... it's truly been unbelievable.
God is doing a great work in us, during this time. He is showing us that this past 9 months was not lost and it was not in vain. Our testimony will have a voice! Not only has He carried us through this season, but His hand and His glory will shine BRIGHT because of what He is going to do through us! He has challenged us with new areas and ways of ministry that we are so excited about!!
Romans 8:28 AMP We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. 29) For those whom He foreknew [of whom He was aware and loved beforehand], He also destined from the beginning [foreordaining them] to be molded into the image of His Son [and share inwardly His likeness], that He might become the firstborn among many brethren.
This past week I received an amazing report from my doctors... after 9 months my vision is almost better than it was before this happened, the fluid is almost gone, the hole is securely closed, my blood work is clean after the cancer scare and partial thyroid removal, I was taken off all but one medication (and it is one with NO side effects) and the doctor doesn't want to see me again for a month! I am almost "whole" again. I am "Relaxing and Resting" not only in my mind and body, but in Spirit as well. God is restoring me... as I have said before, "God's call on my life is still intact, His hand on my life is sure, His plan for me is secure, He is a faithful God and His promises to me ARE my destiny!!!"
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Face to Face with pain...
Some friends of ours are currently in Texas Children's Hospital with their beautiful 4 year old little girl. She had surgery yesterday and she is having to stay in the hospital for 4 or 5 days. We went to visit them yesterday afternoon and I was completely caught off guard by the rush of emotions I felt. (If you have not read my previous post "Remembering Pain Makes You Stronger", then you may want to read it to get the whole miracle story.)
We stepped into the elevator, pressed the button for the 12th floor... as soon as the elevator doors opened the battle to keep my emotions at bay began. This was the same floor, I remember these yellow walls. We signed in at the nurses desk, stepped through the door and there I was face to face with the very room we had been in with Jeremiah. I literally couldn't breathe for a moment and I was desperately fighting back tears. Our friends were only 3 doors down from that very room. As in most hospitals, their room looked exactly the same. It was like stepping back in time. Everything was the same, the couch we slept on, the monitors, the walls, everything... accept that wasn't my little boy laying there anymore, it was their sweet girl. I was face to face with a pain I had not felt in 5 years... we walked the halls with them, showed them where the food court was, told them about the "goody carts" that come by through out the day. Right on cue here came a cart with sno cones, lol. I totally put aside my feelings, now was not the time.
On our way home Jason and I talked about how we both were overwhelmed by how we felt going in there... Jason said, "You know people say that time heals all wounds but I disagree. That pain was as fresh as it was five years ago." He's right! It literally took my breath away but so was the reminder of how God had been so evident there. That is a place of remembering pain but also a place of knowing a peace beyond our understanding, a reminder of God's miraculous hand in our lives. I have yet to feel again as completely submitted and fully at peace in HIS hands as I was during that battle for Jeremiah's life.
I stand by my original post "Remembering Pain does Make You Stronger". I am challenged by this reminder, a crisis should not be the only time my faith is that in tune or that I am that submitted to Him... I intend to remedy this.
We stepped into the elevator, pressed the button for the 12th floor... as soon as the elevator doors opened the battle to keep my emotions at bay began. This was the same floor, I remember these yellow walls. We signed in at the nurses desk, stepped through the door and there I was face to face with the very room we had been in with Jeremiah. I literally couldn't breathe for a moment and I was desperately fighting back tears. Our friends were only 3 doors down from that very room. As in most hospitals, their room looked exactly the same. It was like stepping back in time. Everything was the same, the couch we slept on, the monitors, the walls, everything... accept that wasn't my little boy laying there anymore, it was their sweet girl. I was face to face with a pain I had not felt in 5 years... we walked the halls with them, showed them where the food court was, told them about the "goody carts" that come by through out the day. Right on cue here came a cart with sno cones, lol. I totally put aside my feelings, now was not the time.
On our way home Jason and I talked about how we both were overwhelmed by how we felt going in there... Jason said, "You know people say that time heals all wounds but I disagree. That pain was as fresh as it was five years ago." He's right! It literally took my breath away but so was the reminder of how God had been so evident there. That is a place of remembering pain but also a place of knowing a peace beyond our understanding, a reminder of God's miraculous hand in our lives. I have yet to feel again as completely submitted and fully at peace in HIS hands as I was during that battle for Jeremiah's life.
I stand by my original post "Remembering Pain does Make You Stronger". I am challenged by this reminder, a crisis should not be the only time my faith is that in tune or that I am that submitted to Him... I intend to remedy this.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The key to this season...
Over the past two months I have had this intense desire and longing to disconnect. I felt as though I needed to distance myself from... well... friends, church, responsibilities (other than my home and family) and just about everything else. I have battled within myself wondering if this was "the right thing" or maybe circumstances could have been to blame? Circumstances weren't exactly blissful these past two months; my very dear friends followed the calling of God on their lives and moved to England (we know it was absolutely the right thing, but that didn't make the pain of separation disappear), an amazing man of God that we loved dearly lost his battle with cancer, my health (now 8 months and counting) continues to be an ongoing battle and a few other issues that for discretion sake need not be listed here. This is no tiny list... these would be a reasonable explanation for anyone feeling the need to "disconnect". Crazy as it sounds I actually asked myself these questions, "Am I getting depressed? I've never been depressed before, maybe this is how it feels." or "Is my health and meds actually making me become reclusive?" However, none of these seemed to satisfy my yearning for answers. So, I began to consider whether this was a spiritual tug of war. As I sought God's council on this, it was like a haze began clearing in the room. I was falling slowly into a snare that had been set out before for me, it was quite the set up too. I had taken my eyes off of my source, my guiding light and focused on the circumstances.
What is "the key" for fixing this? God was calling me back to Him... He was telling me to stop working so hard to find my own answers, to "Be Still" and let him cover me, strengthen me and encourage me. He was telling me to stop trying to figure this all this out... it is not mine to bear, it is His. If I am busy working to make my own way clear, I will miss out on His every time. So, I have taken a drastic approach... I have stopped everything (again, other than my personal responsibilities to my home and family). I am making a drastic effort to "Be Still", rest, take a "real" break, get well, allow him to minister to me, heal me, restore me and make me whole. Sounds all nice and spiritual doesn't it? Well, let me be the first to tell you... it hurts!! Clean cuts, even with the peace of God that what you are doing is right, are extremely painful! There will be withdrawals from some of the things that I have had to let go but I know it's the right thing.
Am I letting go forever? Of course not! When I am well, rested and more importantly when God gives me the peace to move forward out of this season, I will run not walk to whatever He has next for me!! I believe it will happen, I believe the calling on my life is sure, I believe God's will for my life will be fulfilled... but first I have to "Be Still" for a while.
What is "the key" for fixing this? God was calling me back to Him... He was telling me to stop working so hard to find my own answers, to "Be Still" and let him cover me, strengthen me and encourage me. He was telling me to stop trying to figure this all this out... it is not mine to bear, it is His. If I am busy working to make my own way clear, I will miss out on His every time. So, I have taken a drastic approach... I have stopped everything (again, other than my personal responsibilities to my home and family). I am making a drastic effort to "Be Still", rest, take a "real" break, get well, allow him to minister to me, heal me, restore me and make me whole. Sounds all nice and spiritual doesn't it? Well, let me be the first to tell you... it hurts!! Clean cuts, even with the peace of God that what you are doing is right, are extremely painful! There will be withdrawals from some of the things that I have had to let go but I know it's the right thing.
Am I letting go forever? Of course not! When I am well, rested and more importantly when God gives me the peace to move forward out of this season, I will run not walk to whatever He has next for me!! I believe it will happen, I believe the calling on my life is sure, I believe God's will for my life will be fulfilled... but first I have to "Be Still" for a while.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Beautiful Deception...
I am going to take a gamble that this post will not be popular with the masses. The past few days if you haven't heard any of the "rapture hype", you have been living under a rock or in a cave. Prior to this "big event", there were the jokes and the pranks that everyone was talking about... I'll admit they were funny! The "big event" came, went by and was wrong. If only it were that simple... immediately the jokes, the comments, the billboards... you name it, celebrating this "non big event" went viral. Again, I admit... some were quite funny.
Laying in bed Sunday night a realization in the form of a "Godly Anguish"(as put by Pastor Randy Harvey recently, from a quoted text by the late David Wilkerson) came to me. In anticipation of this "big event", I heard stories of people that sold all they had to await this day. Families and individuals stood on mountainsides, beaches, in fields, huddled in homes waiting on that "big event" to happen. Hoping, wishing, praying that it was true... why? Maybe one was a young girl whose reality is a life being sold into sex trafficking... maybe a dad who the meal he just fed his family was the last he had the means to provide... maybe it was someone whose reality was just absolutely hopeless in their eyes. This "big event" had been presented to them as a means to an end, a way out, an alternative reality... in the form of a "Beautiful Deception" woven with lies and un-truths, that they clung to merely because it meant a better reality than where they were currently. Of course they leapt at it, they were desperate!
So, where are they now? What has happened to their "faith"? It was shattered when they stood there as the clock ticked on into the night and they realized it was all a lie. How it must grieve our Father God to watch His children broken and deceived that way. How He must mourn them becoming the laughing stock of the world, when maybe some of them (not all of them, of course) were just desperate for a way out. We as believers in the One True God have an even greater battle before us now... how much more diligent must we strive to present the "Truth" to those in need? Will they be so easily swayed to listen this time, if not, how do we make a difference? Zech 4:6 NLT "It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies." Only with the grace and anointing of God can the Truth of God's Word penetrate and heal the walls or obstacle courses, if you will, that have now been set up to guard those hearts that have recently been broken.
I have a challenge for you... yes, the jokes are funny. No, you are not unholy for laughing..Please! My challenge is to pray that you feel the anguish of God for those that are hurting and for God to give you opportunities to show hope to those who are hopeless. Last, but certainly not least, that we would reach out to those that are feeling desperate and share the "Truth" and love of Christ... rather than leaving them hopeless and susceptible to the next "Beautiful Deception".
Laying in bed Sunday night a realization in the form of a "Godly Anguish"(as put by Pastor Randy Harvey recently, from a quoted text by the late David Wilkerson) came to me. In anticipation of this "big event", I heard stories of people that sold all they had to await this day. Families and individuals stood on mountainsides, beaches, in fields, huddled in homes waiting on that "big event" to happen. Hoping, wishing, praying that it was true... why? Maybe one was a young girl whose reality is a life being sold into sex trafficking... maybe a dad who the meal he just fed his family was the last he had the means to provide... maybe it was someone whose reality was just absolutely hopeless in their eyes. This "big event" had been presented to them as a means to an end, a way out, an alternative reality... in the form of a "Beautiful Deception" woven with lies and un-truths, that they clung to merely because it meant a better reality than where they were currently. Of course they leapt at it, they were desperate!
So, where are they now? What has happened to their "faith"? It was shattered when they stood there as the clock ticked on into the night and they realized it was all a lie. How it must grieve our Father God to watch His children broken and deceived that way. How He must mourn them becoming the laughing stock of the world, when maybe some of them (not all of them, of course) were just desperate for a way out. We as believers in the One True God have an even greater battle before us now... how much more diligent must we strive to present the "Truth" to those in need? Will they be so easily swayed to listen this time, if not, how do we make a difference? Zech 4:6 NLT "It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies." Only with the grace and anointing of God can the Truth of God's Word penetrate and heal the walls or obstacle courses, if you will, that have now been set up to guard those hearts that have recently been broken.
I have a challenge for you... yes, the jokes are funny. No, you are not unholy for laughing..Please! My challenge is to pray that you feel the anguish of God for those that are hurting and for God to give you opportunities to show hope to those who are hopeless. Last, but certainly not least, that we would reach out to those that are feeling desperate and share the "Truth" and love of Christ... rather than leaving them hopeless and susceptible to the next "Beautiful Deception".
Monday, May 2, 2011
"What can we see better? What did we learn?"
Where have the past 6 months of my life gone? Well, I will avoid weighing down this blog post with lengthy details. In a teeny tiny nut shell; Oct. 21 2010 my husband lost his job, two days later I had a crazy medical journey begin, resulting in 5 surgeries and too many doctors, specialists, procedures and tests to name. A brief cancer scare, but I am happy to announce that I am on my way to a full recovery!!
All of this started 6 months ago and seemingly did a snowball effect from bad to worse. Now, on this side of it Jason and I have had a chance to look back and ask, "What can we see better? What did we learn?"
First- The loss of Jason's job at his former employer was a total blessing. He was so stressed out, losing sleep and overwhelmed. He was unhappy and working insane hours, never seeming to get caught up. If he had not changed jobs, there is NO way he could have cared for me, been here for me and walked with me so incredibly as he has these past 6 months. It would have killed him... God knew exactly what he was doing. The incredible thing is that he was able to do his new job, work from home and his clients didn't become busy until the "exact" week that I was well enough for him to go back in full force!! Talk about the favor and hand of God!
Second- Just like during the journey God took us on during Jeremiah's illness, on this journey God taught us that our faith, trust in Him, love for Him and love for each other was much stronger and could endure much more than we ever knew. We leaned heavily into Him and into each other and in doing that God brought people across our paths whose faith was strengthened by how God was strengthening ours.
Third- From day one God showed us that He had this covered, had us covered. We experienced a peace that truly passed all understanding. God taught us things about ourselves and our relationships with Him that we may have never discovered, unless pressed the way we were. We came out of this with a renewed intimacy with Him and absolute knowledge that He is trustworthy! Don't get me wrong, this was NO cake walk... we had the air knocked out of us a few times but His hand was sure and it was strong!
Last- This one is all me... I was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am! I have a husband who loves me so incredibly and unselfishly more than I ever could have dreamed. I am overwhelmed by him... truly. (Thank you Jason, I love you!) I am so grateful for my family that are amazingly supportive and helpful and my dearest friends who prayed and loved us through all this! Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart... thank you!!
All of this started 6 months ago and seemingly did a snowball effect from bad to worse. Now, on this side of it Jason and I have had a chance to look back and ask, "What can we see better? What did we learn?"
First- The loss of Jason's job at his former employer was a total blessing. He was so stressed out, losing sleep and overwhelmed. He was unhappy and working insane hours, never seeming to get caught up. If he had not changed jobs, there is NO way he could have cared for me, been here for me and walked with me so incredibly as he has these past 6 months. It would have killed him... God knew exactly what he was doing. The incredible thing is that he was able to do his new job, work from home and his clients didn't become busy until the "exact" week that I was well enough for him to go back in full force!! Talk about the favor and hand of God!
Second- Just like during the journey God took us on during Jeremiah's illness, on this journey God taught us that our faith, trust in Him, love for Him and love for each other was much stronger and could endure much more than we ever knew. We leaned heavily into Him and into each other and in doing that God brought people across our paths whose faith was strengthened by how God was strengthening ours.
Third- From day one God showed us that He had this covered, had us covered. We experienced a peace that truly passed all understanding. God taught us things about ourselves and our relationships with Him that we may have never discovered, unless pressed the way we were. We came out of this with a renewed intimacy with Him and absolute knowledge that He is trustworthy! Don't get me wrong, this was NO cake walk... we had the air knocked out of us a few times but His hand was sure and it was strong!
Last- This one is all me... I was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am! I have a husband who loves me so incredibly and unselfishly more than I ever could have dreamed. I am overwhelmed by him... truly. (Thank you Jason, I love you!) I am so grateful for my family that are amazingly supportive and helpful and my dearest friends who prayed and loved us through all this! Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart... thank you!!
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