The Brutal Shades of Love

Since the world is flooding social media with their opinions of what love is or is not, I can’t quietly sit by and be silent. To say that 50 shades of Grey is controversial is the understatement of the year. I am not here to give my opinionated criticism of those that read the books, will see the movie or who buy into the putrid image they depict as “romance” and “love”. There’s enough about that already being said… However, I will take this opportunity to describe the brutality by which love can actually be defined. Every example is from my very own experience… if our world is so hungry to see someone vulnerably exposed? Well, here it goes.

Brutal shades of love- A man carrying you to the bathroom after a surgical procedure that leaves you in the most pain you will ever endure in your life. He sits you down, steps outside the door and listens to your screams and tears of pure agony as you merely try to pee. Picking you back up, shaking and on the verge of shock, he carries you back to bed and sleeps on the floor by your side… we were just dating.

Brutal shades of love- A man holding your hair and patting your brow as you vomit due to anesthesia, in the middle of the birth of your first child. Then helping your sutured and stapled body into the shower, sagging stomach and in pain… washing you gently, helping you redress and get back in to bed. Then kissing you and telling you, “You are the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world. I’m the luckiest man and I love you so much.”

Brutal Shades of love- A man that the first week of your second child’s life never leaves your side. Took off an entire week and told me not to get up… he did the cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, took care of Joshua. Once again, he helped my painful self to shower and set his own alarm to make sure to ask me every four hours if I was in pain, so he could give me pain meds…He said, “All I want you to do is feed the baby and sleep.”

Brutal Shades of love- A man that is there when you have a massive lump removed from your throat and they can’t rule out cancer. When you come to, in the hospital room, he has praise and worship music playing… who does that? Why did he do that? “Because I know you love it, it calms you and it changes the atmosphere.” He has to suction blood from my neck for a week until they could finally rule out cancer and close me up.

Brutal Shades of love- A man that just a few months after the above mentioned cancer scare… You are frozen and white as a ghost as you try to tell him, but the words just won’t come out. You grab his hand and place it on what is an obvious new lump. You see the fear flash across his face, but just for a moment and then he grabs you, picks you up and carries you to the couch where you both just cry together. “This can’t be happening, I can’t go through this again, I just can’t.” I cried, He calmly spoke “I know, I know, it’s going to be ok…” then he begins to pray… barely getting words out through his own tears. God miraculously healed that lump, it was also ruled as benign.

The world wants to see brutality associated with love, well here is as clear and accurate a picture as can be painted. Don’t be fooled into thinking these few examples are the only ones I could come up with. Not even close. Blogs are not meant to be books, although I could fill a book just about my husband and what true unconditional love looks like. Maybe, just maybe one day I will heed to the many suggestions to write one. Our love, our marriage is extraordinary and filled with imperfections. It’s like no other marriage I have ever seen or heard about. I married a selfless man that loves me beyond what my mind can comprehend. THIS is love, THIS is romance, THIS is what fantasy fulfilling marriage looks like... Brutal shades of love.