Where has the time gone... well, instead of boring you with way more details than ANYONE could possibly want to read, I will keep it simple. I am alive and well, love my husband more than I ever dreamed possible, one of my sons is way taller than me and the other one is getting close-r. So, there you have it... we're all caught up.
So what brings me back? I was asked a question that needed to be properly addressed; "What is your secret to good kids and a happy home?" It may seem a simple question that would solicit a simple answer... not so much. The initial part of my answer addresses "Happy" and the fact that being happy does not equate being perfect. Most people think that because someone is happy that our life must be flawless. On the contrary, we are happy because our source of joy is not determined or affected by our present issues or lack of them. Our joy is in God! Our joy and happiness comes from all the issues, trials, pains, hurts and battles that we have overcome and have yet to overcome. Not by our strength but wholly and completely by the strength and Grace of God. We learned many years ago that if we place our joy and happiness in anything that can be affected by the enemy, then our joy can be affected by the enemy. If our joy is in Christ, nothing can sway it or displace it... nothing. Ok, so is that it? Is that my answer? No, of course not... just the foundation of my answer.
We have certain rules and priorities, God inspired, that make our home and family run as it does.
- First I'll share our family priorities... by the way, these are non-negotiable. We have an understanding in our house that our foremost priority is our personal/individual relationship with God. Outside of that, Jason and my number one priority is each other. Above all, we first meet and tend to each others needs before even beginning to address anything/anyone else. No one matters in our world more than each other. I know and have confidence that Jason will always have my back and he knows that I will always have his. Second comes the needs and/or wants of our kids. They have joined our world, for a temporary amount of time, and it is our job to nurture them and discipline them. So, before turning our attention to anyone/anything else, we make sure their needs are met. Everything else in our world then falls into place according to how we feel it should be prioritized and those will be different for each family.
- Next comes the rules of our house. They haven't changed and never will... ever.
Rule #1- NO Whining! We can not hear you if you're whining. This can be a place where many kids will use discipline to their advantage. You tell them "No whining", they keep whining and the parent walks around saying (usually louder and louder) "I can't hear you! No whining! No whining!!" Kids are smart, negative attention is better than no attention at all... if they were whining we said once and only once in a calm voice "What is rule number one? No whining. I can not hear you until you talk normal. Come back when you can be civil." It worked for us, really well.
Rule #2- Life is not fair, deal with it! Yea, pretty self explanatory...
Rule #3- Do your priorities first, so you can play longer later. This actually applies to all four of us. Makes a HUGE difference in the efficiency of how our house runs... not to mention diffusing a ton of stress.
Rule #4- Personal calendars NEVER trump the family calendar... ever! This one is primarily for Jason and I, but it has worked so well for us. Be intentional with your planning... not only does it reduce miscommunication but it alleviates the stress of being scattered and over obligated.
So, there it is... my complex answer to a seemingly simple question. I will add one last secret from my personal page... We live in a world addicted to social media. I choose to live my life by the iceberg method; 10% is public for all the world to see, the other 90% is under the surface, reserved for those who intentionally choose to invest time in developing a relationship of community with me. If your community and relationships are purely based on social media, I encourage you to explore them deeper and in person. There is nothing like seeing a real live smile and giving a real warm hug to someone that holds that cherished title of "true friend".
