Many of you have seen the latest ad campaign circulating around by Dove Soap "You are more beautiful than you think". If you haven't seen it, I suggest watching it
It's about women who have to describe themselves to a sketch artist that has never seen them. After he sketches them, a stranger that they have gotten to know for about 30 minutes comes in and describes them for a second sketch. When the sketches are compared the women are shocked at how incredibly different they came out. They see the reality of how critical they were on themselves, versus the way others saw them. I was amazed and I was in tears. It hit me like a ton of bricks, honestly. What would mine look like? How would others describe me? I would struggle with that... but why? I asked God, "Why is this affecting me so deeply? What exactly do I struggle with here?" God simply asked me, "Can you say you're beautiful?" I felt like my stomach dropped... "No." What exactly does that mean, though? Why is that a bad thing? I don't have a hard time accepting your love or love from my husband and family. I know that I'm loved and I love to love people back. I don't feel like I struggle with an orphan spirit (for more on this, I highly recommend the message by Pastor Randy Harvey from April 21, 2013 on www.thecrossing.cc). I know where I belong and whom I belong to. I'm secure in that... I just don't think of myself that way. My husband thinks I'm beautiful, my daddy thinks so and I know God does too... why do I need to? What does "beautiful" matter if I know I'm loved?
God spoke to me, "It's not just about beauty on the outside. It is about your true beauty... Your laugh that shows the joy in you. The tears that show compassion for someone in pain. Your touch that shows that you care enough to be there. Your heart that aches when you see someone in need. The way your anointing touches lives, as you operate in my calling. The way I shine through your smile to touch others... It's how I see you. You are mine. Created by me and for me and I want you to see yourself the way I see you." I've heard it said that confidence is beautiful. Well, I believe it. Being confident in what God says about you, is where you discover your true beauty. I may not struggle with how God loves me, my security that He holds me or that I belong to him... that doesn't mean that I don't struggle with seeing myself how He sees me. That is a profound truth that I have been missing, but I see it now. Another reality came to me through this, every single aspect of my life (struggle, victory and experience) is an opportunity for God to establish credentials in my life that I need to help others. I haven't got this all figured out yet, but I'm listening and learning... I will get it and then I will use it to help whomever God brings across my path, in the future.
Yes, I'm loved. Yes, I'm secure in my relationship with Him. Yes, as hard as it is for me to say... I am beautiful and so are you. More beautiful than we think.
2014
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Happy takes work and is never perfect...
Where has the time gone... well, instead of boring you with way more details than ANYONE could possibly want to read, I will keep it simple. I am alive and well, love my husband more than I ever dreamed possible, one of my sons is way taller than me and the other one is getting close-r. So, there you have it... we're all caught up.
So what brings me back? I was asked a question that needed to be properly addressed; "What is your secret to good kids and a happy home?" It may seem a simple question that would solicit a simple answer... not so much. The initial part of my answer addresses "Happy" and the fact that being happy does not equate being perfect. Most people think that because someone is happy that our life must be flawless. On the contrary, we are happy because our source of joy is not determined or affected by our present issues or lack of them. Our joy is in God! Our joy and happiness comes from all the issues, trials, pains, hurts and battles that we have overcome and have yet to overcome. Not by our strength but wholly and completely by the strength and Grace of God. We learned many years ago that if we place our joy and happiness in anything that can be affected by the enemy, then our joy can be affected by the enemy. If our joy is in Christ, nothing can sway it or displace it... nothing. Ok, so is that it? Is that my answer? No, of course not... just the foundation of my answer.
We have certain rules and priorities, God inspired, that make our home and family run as it does.
- First I'll share our family priorities... by the way, these are non-negotiable. We have an understanding in our house that our foremost priority is our personal/individual relationship with God. Outside of that, Jason and my number one priority is each other. Above all, we first meet and tend to each others needs before even beginning to address anything/anyone else. No one matters in our world more than each other. I know and have confidence that Jason will always have my back and he knows that I will always have his. Second comes the needs and/or wants of our kids. They have joined our world, for a temporary amount of time, and it is our job to nurture them and discipline them. So, before turning our attention to anyone/anything else, we make sure their needs are met. Everything else in our world then falls into place according to how we feel it should be prioritized and those will be different for each family.
- Next comes the rules of our house. They haven't changed and never will... ever.
Rule #1- NO Whining! We can not hear you if you're whining. This can be a place where many kids will use discipline to their advantage. You tell them "No whining", they keep whining and the parent walks around saying (usually louder and louder) "I can't hear you! No whining! No whining!!" Kids are smart, negative attention is better than no attention at all... if they were whining we said once and only once in a calm voice "What is rule number one? No whining. I can not hear you until you talk normal. Come back when you can be civil." It worked for us, really well.
Rule #2- Life is not fair, deal with it! Yea, pretty self explanatory...
Rule #3- Do your priorities first, so you can play longer later. This actually applies to all four of us. Makes a HUGE difference in the efficiency of how our house runs... not to mention diffusing a ton of stress.
Rule #4- Personal calendars NEVER trump the family calendar... ever! This one is primarily for Jason and I, but it has worked so well for us. Be intentional with your planning... not only does it reduce miscommunication but it alleviates the stress of being scattered and over obligated.
So, there it is... my complex answer to a seemingly simple question. I will add one last secret from my personal page... We live in a world addicted to social media. I choose to live my life by the iceberg method; 10% is public for all the world to see, the other 90% is under the surface, reserved for those who intentionally choose to invest time in developing a relationship of community with me. If your community and relationships are purely based on social media, I encourage you to explore them deeper and in person. There is nothing like seeing a real live smile and giving a real warm hug to someone that holds that cherished title of "true friend".
So what brings me back? I was asked a question that needed to be properly addressed; "What is your secret to good kids and a happy home?" It may seem a simple question that would solicit a simple answer... not so much. The initial part of my answer addresses "Happy" and the fact that being happy does not equate being perfect. Most people think that because someone is happy that our life must be flawless. On the contrary, we are happy because our source of joy is not determined or affected by our present issues or lack of them. Our joy is in God! Our joy and happiness comes from all the issues, trials, pains, hurts and battles that we have overcome and have yet to overcome. Not by our strength but wholly and completely by the strength and Grace of God. We learned many years ago that if we place our joy and happiness in anything that can be affected by the enemy, then our joy can be affected by the enemy. If our joy is in Christ, nothing can sway it or displace it... nothing. Ok, so is that it? Is that my answer? No, of course not... just the foundation of my answer.
We have certain rules and priorities, God inspired, that make our home and family run as it does.
- First I'll share our family priorities... by the way, these are non-negotiable. We have an understanding in our house that our foremost priority is our personal/individual relationship with God. Outside of that, Jason and my number one priority is each other. Above all, we first meet and tend to each others needs before even beginning to address anything/anyone else. No one matters in our world more than each other. I know and have confidence that Jason will always have my back and he knows that I will always have his. Second comes the needs and/or wants of our kids. They have joined our world, for a temporary amount of time, and it is our job to nurture them and discipline them. So, before turning our attention to anyone/anything else, we make sure their needs are met. Everything else in our world then falls into place according to how we feel it should be prioritized and those will be different for each family.
- Next comes the rules of our house. They haven't changed and never will... ever.
Rule #1- NO Whining! We can not hear you if you're whining. This can be a place where many kids will use discipline to their advantage. You tell them "No whining", they keep whining and the parent walks around saying (usually louder and louder) "I can't hear you! No whining! No whining!!" Kids are smart, negative attention is better than no attention at all... if they were whining we said once and only once in a calm voice "What is rule number one? No whining. I can not hear you until you talk normal. Come back when you can be civil." It worked for us, really well.
Rule #2- Life is not fair, deal with it! Yea, pretty self explanatory...
Rule #3- Do your priorities first, so you can play longer later. This actually applies to all four of us. Makes a HUGE difference in the efficiency of how our house runs... not to mention diffusing a ton of stress.
Rule #4- Personal calendars NEVER trump the family calendar... ever! This one is primarily for Jason and I, but it has worked so well for us. Be intentional with your planning... not only does it reduce miscommunication but it alleviates the stress of being scattered and over obligated.
So, there it is... my complex answer to a seemingly simple question. I will add one last secret from my personal page... We live in a world addicted to social media. I choose to live my life by the iceberg method; 10% is public for all the world to see, the other 90% is under the surface, reserved for those who intentionally choose to invest time in developing a relationship of community with me. If your community and relationships are purely based on social media, I encourage you to explore them deeper and in person. There is nothing like seeing a real live smile and giving a real warm hug to someone that holds that cherished title of "true friend".
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